Sometimes I feel lame because I typically only write stuff here about what happens in my life. I usually don't write much that is thought-provoking. It's just episodes from my fairly mundane life. I save that other stuff for my real journal. No offense. I'm just terribley afraid of being judged.
Since I got the disclaimer out of the way, here's the latest headline: I GOT AN OFFER FOR GRAD SCHOOL FROM MIZZOU! There are no words to express how happy I am. Happy isn't even the emotion for the occasion....it's more akin to complete and utter joy. But that might not actually capture it either.
I just feel so validated. Like I have a direction again. I think these past 8 months have been the hardest in my life so far. And I really mean that. After all of my disappointments, I was seriously losing my focus and my sense of self.
I think this was all meant to be. I think I need a radical shift in my outlook on life and that is definitely what this time out of college has done. Despite the fact that I am going back into the school environment, I will not be looking through the same glasses (quite literally since I have a new prescription).
I'm bad at coming up with the words to explain all of this at the moment. I'm a little better at it in person.
On a lighter note, it blows my mind that in just a few months I will be on track to get my PhD. Oh yeah, that's right, my PhD. Charles what now? I can't believe that when I come through this I'll be Dr. Collins. While this is all good and exciting, I'm having a little trouble keeping it in check. I'm finding myself wanting to tell people that I got in to school, just so they think I'm smart...which is not a healthy path to start.
I have an interview at KU in a few weeks. I don't really want to go. I just want to move to Columbia tomorrow. Oh and I'm going to a little country called Spain in two weeks and two days.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Goin' On
Wide open spaces. That's where my gaze is directed...at least figuratively.
So much is about to happen, that if I stop and think about it, I lose my breath a little. Granted, it's an exciting kind of overwhelming, but overwhelming nonetheless.
In the next six weeks or so I have two grad school interviews, one international vacation, one grad school app due, one education program app due, two standardized tests relating to said education program, a teaching internship, and I could be moving into a house (well, this one's more like a few months away). Bah!
Only one thing is (hopefully) official for my future: by the end of the year I will no longer have my current job. It has turned out to be much better than I originally anticipated, but it is not a place that I can thrive in. I am grateful for the skills I've learned and I think they'll definitely help me in the future.
There's more that I want to say, but it's not coming out well right now. Hopefully I'll feel more inspired a little later.
So much is about to happen, that if I stop and think about it, I lose my breath a little. Granted, it's an exciting kind of overwhelming, but overwhelming nonetheless.
In the next six weeks or so I have two grad school interviews, one international vacation, one grad school app due, one education program app due, two standardized tests relating to said education program, a teaching internship, and I could be moving into a house (well, this one's more like a few months away). Bah!
Only one thing is (hopefully) official for my future: by the end of the year I will no longer have my current job. It has turned out to be much better than I originally anticipated, but it is not a place that I can thrive in. I am grateful for the skills I've learned and I think they'll definitely help me in the future.
There's more that I want to say, but it's not coming out well right now. Hopefully I'll feel more inspired a little later.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Via Chicago
The building where I work is located right next to Kansas City Power & Light, which is KC's electric plant. The major window of the lab looks out onto their giant coal pile, which is usually a little depressing for a variety of reasons. But, now that there is so much snow...it's kind of pretty. They used a little bulldozer to get off some snow at the top, making it black again and now it looks like a small mountain. So, now when I look out the window, I can imagine that I'm in a much sweeter location, like the Andes, or Alps.
For an adventure update. In approximately seven weeks I will be here: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/2007-12-18-04706-02_Spain_Almeria.jpg
Get jealous.
For an adventure update. In approximately seven weeks I will be here: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/2007-12-18-04706-02_Spain_Almeria.jpg
Get jealous.
Friday, December 4, 2009
I don't know.
I don't know.
This is the simplest way to descibe the happenings of the past two weeks or so. I don't know. I'm not completely sure. But, somehow, I'm ok with that. It feels weird because usually I'm a little wound up and being so uncertain would send me on the path to the House of Pain. But, through some miracle, I'm embracing it for the first time in my life. I think I might even be...en..joying it...? That's hard to swallow, but very well might also be true.
What the what....
This is the simplest way to descibe the happenings of the past two weeks or so. I don't know. I'm not completely sure. But, somehow, I'm ok with that. It feels weird because usually I'm a little wound up and being so uncertain would send me on the path to the House of Pain. But, through some miracle, I'm embracing it for the first time in my life. I think I might even be...en..joying it...? That's hard to swallow, but very well might also be true.
What the what....
Saturday, October 31, 2009
the verb
It's another slow day at work. So, this is what I ahve been doing:
Listening to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Swell_Season
Perusing Etsy. Might have just found a new favorite (http://www.etsy.com/shop/hadleyhutton?page=1). I think I want all of her paintings.
Looking up new recipes. I may or may not be in the process of becoming a foodie. If so, hopefully not a snobby one. http://simplyrecipes.com/
DIY-craft & design exploring on http://www.designspongeonline.com/. I love all of their ideas!
Buy my favorite soaps and body products! I absolutely love this company and their mantra on being a small business. http://www.indigowild.com/index.cfm?&r=1
And lastly, I've been planning a tour to http://www.theroasterie.com/ where I am planning on creating my own unique roast.
Enjoy some favorites.
Listening to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Swell_Season
Perusing Etsy. Might have just found a new favorite (http://www.etsy.com/shop/hadleyhutton?page=1). I think I want all of her paintings.
Looking up new recipes. I may or may not be in the process of becoming a foodie. If so, hopefully not a snobby one. http://simplyrecipes.com/
DIY-craft & design exploring on http://www.designspongeonline.com/. I love all of their ideas!
Buy my favorite soaps and body products! I absolutely love this company and their mantra on being a small business. http://www.indigowild.com/index.cfm?&r=1
And lastly, I've been planning a tour to http://www.theroasterie.com/ where I am planning on creating my own unique roast.
Enjoy some favorites.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
and now for a life update
My left foot is currently recovering from being 'asleep'. I don't understand why that's what this horrible feeling is called.
Work is really boring as of late. The plants are switching production and as such we have nearly zero samples to analyze.
Confession: I have never been crafty. I remember in girl scouts making swap pins and absolutely HATING it. I thought it was dumb and pointless. Periodically I would try to change this and get obcessed with something until I burned myself out. I have a large collection of half-finished projects like friendship bracelets, nylon lanyard keychains, tote bags, latch hook rugs, and crocheted potholders.
Lately I have been exhibiting some strange symptoms. I have been found wondering local craft boutiques, actually working on the quilt I started over the summer, and perusing DIY/decorating websites (like http://www.designspongeonline.com/). I have this strange and intense urge to start making things with my own two hands. And maybe (hopefully) finishing them. I just don't know where to get started! There is so much that I could make. I'm going to try and stick with the quilt thing for a while and see where it takes me.
This has manifested itself into cooking as well. I love it! I don't really cook all that often, nor is it very elaborate, but I enjoy what I make, so...I'm trying to work my way through a cookbook. We'll see how this ends up.
And in other news, I've decided to volunteer with MOCSA again. I've had enough of a hiatus and it's time to serve.
And I'm listening to Blitzen Trapper. Ahh-sommme.
Work is really boring as of late. The plants are switching production and as such we have nearly zero samples to analyze.
Confession: I have never been crafty. I remember in girl scouts making swap pins and absolutely HATING it. I thought it was dumb and pointless. Periodically I would try to change this and get obcessed with something until I burned myself out. I have a large collection of half-finished projects like friendship bracelets, nylon lanyard keychains, tote bags, latch hook rugs, and crocheted potholders.
Lately I have been exhibiting some strange symptoms. I have been found wondering local craft boutiques, actually working on the quilt I started over the summer, and perusing DIY/decorating websites (like http://www.designspongeonline.com/). I have this strange and intense urge to start making things with my own two hands. And maybe (hopefully) finishing them. I just don't know where to get started! There is so much that I could make. I'm going to try and stick with the quilt thing for a while and see where it takes me.
This has manifested itself into cooking as well. I love it! I don't really cook all that often, nor is it very elaborate, but I enjoy what I make, so...I'm trying to work my way through a cookbook. We'll see how this ends up.
And in other news, I've decided to volunteer with MOCSA again. I've had enough of a hiatus and it's time to serve.
And I'm listening to Blitzen Trapper. Ahh-sommme.
the best way to spend an afternoon
#5
I find it overwhelming the ways in which I miss my time at Jewell. But two things stand out:
- I miss being continuously surrounded by such quality people. Each person I was blessed to meet on the Hill was able to teach me something or plant a thought seed in my life. The daily encouragement and support (for and between everyone) is something I wish I would have bottled up so I could carry it around now and share with the world.
- At Jewell I discovered how to truly appreciate individual moments and really be present in them. Some of my favorite memories are simply of lying in the sun on the Triangle or the quad, or sitting outside of Browning with a warm cup of tea. I have become very relational and it was in these places that I was able to develop my real communication skills.
(Most of all, I really miss Becky's scones).
I find it overwhelming the ways in which I miss my time at Jewell. But two things stand out:
- I miss being continuously surrounded by such quality people. Each person I was blessed to meet on the Hill was able to teach me something or plant a thought seed in my life. The daily encouragement and support (for and between everyone) is something I wish I would have bottled up so I could carry it around now and share with the world.
- At Jewell I discovered how to truly appreciate individual moments and really be present in them. Some of my favorite memories are simply of lying in the sun on the Triangle or the quad, or sitting outside of Browning with a warm cup of tea. I have become very relational and it was in these places that I was able to develop my real communication skills.
(Most of all, I really miss Becky's scones).
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