Thursday, March 25, 2010

things are what you make of them

I went to Half-Priced Books in Westport today to replace my copy of Luther's Small Catechism. While I was there I browsed the science section and noticed that they had several copies of textbooks that I used at Jewell for $7.98. I think from now on, I'm only going to buy books at Half-Priced Books.

Then I went for lunch at Chipotle on 39th. Chipotle is one of the few places that I feel totally comfortable eating alone because they have a counter by the window. The counter makes it easier to eat alone because there aren't extra chairs at the table mocking you. When I walked in I saw that Mike from JW was there, but I'm not really friends with him so I didn't say hi. He's also a lot cooler than I am, which sometimes makes him intimidating to approach. I took Blue Like Jazz (also: bringing a book to read is fun when you are eating alone) and had it sitting next to my food. A lady stopped me while I was eating to tell me that she was also reading BLJ and loved it. She said she's been reading it for two months, very slowly, because she doesn't want it to end. I thought that was pretty neat. I love it when things like that happen. It's just nice to know that there are some strangers out there who are willing to connect with you, even just for a minute to share that they are reading the same book.

Friday, March 19, 2010

can't stand it

So, it's time for a real post.

Yesterday I got my 'Welcome to Columbia' packet via FedEx. It has apartment guides and a directory for services in Columbia. I'm feeling so conflicted. In the middle. So happy. And unhappy. I am so excited to get back to school and move to Columbia...start something new, etc. After so much rejection, it feels good to have this kind of validation. But, I'm sad too. I hate leaving things. Endings. Goodbyes. I know that this is really dramatic because honestly I'm moving in between the two most important cities to me. But still.

I have been blessed beyond measure by Jacob's Well. The people there have been warm and welcoming. Encouraging and supportive. I know I've only had friends there for about 6 months, but these friendships are already very dear to me. At JW I have been challenged intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. My faith has grown exponentially. Which is great, but it makes me nervous. I'm afraid that I won't find that in Columbia. And if I don't find it, I'm afraid what will happen to that growth. I know that church does not equate spirituality, but I'm nervous that without the people to support and encourage...I don't know what will happen, but can't imagine it'd be good.

I know for sure that I am ready to leave my job. I'm honestly starting to really dislike it. For a variety of reasons, but I'm just ready to be finished. It's a lot like senioritis, especially since I know I'm getting ready to move on to something I'm passionate about.

So, I started reading Blue Like Jazz recently. Honestly I went into it thinking I was going to hate it. Not sure why exactly, but that's how I felt. It has completely surpassed any of my previous judgements. I can't put it down anymore. It has caused me to really reflect on the mission of my life and I've been realizing a lot of new things. No offense, but those are subjects for my private journal. Just note that I would now recommend it.

I can't stop listening to Wilco. I'm mean, I've been listening to them regularly since high school, but lately there has been some kind of new quality about them that I just can't get enough of. It's rediscovery at it's finest. Not only do I love the music itself, but the lyrics really mean something to my life right now. They are the kind of lyrics that you get, but don't really understand at the same time. That doesn't really make sense, but it's the only way for me to describe it.

I'm completely in love with golden raisins and avocados. I've been putting them on everything. But not together.